Living with an Alcoholic: 7 Tips

Living with an alcoholic can be highly stressful and potentially dangerous. While trying to help your loved one, you also need to take proper precautions to protect yourself.

Contact Bright Future Recovery today to learn more about alcohol rehab in Northern California.

What Is Alcoholism?

If you’re living with an alcoholic, it’s important to understand some fundamental facts about the condition.

Alcohol use disorder, which is the clinical term for alcoholism, is a mental health condition that is characterized by recurrent, compulsive alcohol use, even when a person knows that their drinking has caused physical, psychological, or social harm.

Potential warning signs that someone has developed alcohol use disorder include:

• Once they start drinking, they consume more than they intended.
• They find it difficult or impossible to make it through the day without drinking.
• They often drink alone or in secret.
• They exhibit dramatic changes in mood, attitude, and energy levels.
• They use alcohol to cope with stress, setbacks, and other negative experiences.
• They need to drink greater amounts of alcohol than they used to in order to feel the drug’s effects. This is known as developing tolerance.
• They develop distressing physical and psychological withdrawal symptoms when they abruptly try to quit drinking.

The only way to be accurately diagnosed with alcohol use disorder is to be assessed by a qualified professional. If you suspect that someone you care about is an alcoholic, an ideal first step would be for them to consult with their physician or schedule an evaluation with a reputable addiction treatment provider in your area.

In addition, if you need help talking to your loved one, our professional intervention services can help.

7 Tips for Living With An Alcoholic

Alcoholism doesn’t only affect the person who has the disease. Friends, family members, and colleagues can also be negatively impacted. 

If you are living with an alcoholic, here are seven tips for dealing with the problem in a healthy and productive manner:

#1. Acknowledge the Problem 

If you’re reading a post about living with an alcoholic, there’s a good chance that you’ve already acknowledged there’s a problem. But have you identified exactly what the problem is?

Alcoholism isn’t evidence of low character, poor self-esteem, or lack of self-control. Nor is it a sign that you have provided insufficient support to your loved one. Addictions to alcohol and other drugs are chronic, progressive diseases that can disrupt a person’s thoughts, feelings, and behaviors.

Acknowledging the problem involves taking an honest, unflinching look at what you and your loved one are dealing with, so that you can focus on finding the solutions you need.

#2. Educate yourself

The more you understand about what your loved one is going through, and how others have dealt with this problem, the better prepared you will be to provide meaningful help.

Valuable areas to focus on include:

• Learning about the symptoms, risk factors, and effects of alcoholism
• Researching types of treatment programs so you understand the many options that are available to your loved one
• Getting information about reputable treatment providers in your area whose services seem to align with your loved one’s needs 

#3. Set appropriate boundaries

Setting boundaries involves identifying the types of behaviors that you will not tolerate and establishing consequences if your loved one continues to engage in those behaviors. 

Examples of boundaries to consider when you’re living with an alcoholic include:

• Not using alcohol in your home or when they’re with your children
• Not inviting their “drinking buddies” into your home
• Not driving while under the influence of alcohol
• Not being physically or verbally abusive
• Not ignoring their personal and financial responsibilities

Potential consequences for violating your boundaries may include:

• Temporary separation
• Limited contact with children
• Attending counseling or support group sessions
• End of the relationship

#4. Don’t cover up for them 

When you love someone it’s understandable to want to protect them from harm, even when that harm is the direct result of their own actions. But when you shield someone from the effects of their alcohol abuse, what you’re actually doing is enabling their problematic behaviors.

Examples of what it means to not cover up for an alcoholic include:

• Not lending them money or paying their bills for them
• Not making excuses for them when they act inappropriately
• Not lying on their behalf when they miss work or fail to meet other responsibilities

#5. Encourage them to get help

You can’t cure your loved one on your own. And in the vast majority of cases you won’t be able to force them to get treatment. But you can (and should) encourage your loved one to seek help, either through a peer support group such as Alcoholics Anonymous (AA) or SMART Recovery or at a residential treatment center or outpatient rehab.

Your loved one’s response when you talk about treatment can give you vital insights into their current frame of mind. Are they hesitant about getting help, or actively opposed to the idea? Do they say they just need time to find the right program, or do they deny that they have a problem?

Their reaction can help you determine what the best next steps may be for you and for your relationship.

#6. Avoid isolation

Decades of education and awareness efforts have led to a greater understanding of addictions as diseases, not behavior flaws. But stigma still exists, and it can be incredibly harmful.

One way that stigma causes damage is by making people ashamed of what their loved ones are going through. This shame, in turn, can cause them to isolate themselves friends, family members, and other sources of essential support.

Don’t let your loved one’s struggles prevent you from keeping in touch with the people who are most important to you. Their love, support, and encouragement can sustain you during this challenging time.

#7. Protect yourself 

Above all else, you need to protect yourself. This includes safeguarding your physical health, your emotional well-being, and your financial stability.

Beneficial steps in this direction can include:

• Ensuring that you have a safe place to stay if your loved one becomes abusive
• Participating in Al-Anon or other support groups for loved ones of alcoholics
• Seeking therapy for yourself (and your children if you have kids)
• Speaking with a lawyer to discuss your options

Learn More About Alcohol Addiction Treatment in Northern California

Bright Future Recovery is a premier provider of personalized care for adults who have become addicted to alcohol and other drugs. Treatment options at our rehab in Northern California include detox, residential care, an intensive outpatient program (IOP), and a virtual IOP.

To learn more about how we can help you or a loved one, or to schedule a free assessment, please visit our Admissions page or call us today.